2-Year Plan

I came across this quote today on a blog that I frequent:

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive.
And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

- Howard Thurman

What makes me come alive?  Photography.  Looking at it.  Studying pictures others have taken and thinking in my own mind what I would have done differently.  Getting my camera out and snapping 50 pictures of Ava playing with bubbles.  What about teaching, you may ask...well, there are some "come alive" moments, but mostly there are I don't want to go moments.  And when can I be done with this profession moments.  And get me the hell outta here moments, where I feel like I'm barely treading water in a class full of rambunctious 8th graders who think it's okay to fight in my classroom on the 4th day of school.  (Thankfully, I won that battle and there was no fight to be had..."not in MY classroom!")  It all kinda makes me feel like doing this:

It's time to install the 2-year plan.  This plan basically means two more years of teaching and then...photography.  Full time.  Days full of taking pictures, of editing, of updating a photography blog and building my clientele.  And let me tell you, I cannot WAIT.  It means learning and taking classes right now.  It means brushing up on my business skills and taking a hundred looks back at our budget to make it work.  It means buying a new computer and figuring out complicated editing software.  But I am determined to make it work!

In the meantime, I am still trying to find the bright side of teaching.  So far for this year:

I am teaching three different types of classes: advanced, regular, and sheltered ELL.  It makes the day a bit more interesting to have such an array of students in my room.

Looking out over the sea of heads and collared shirts and school books to see that all students are bent over a writing assignment, pen to paper, scribbling as fast as possible about the best moment of their summer break.  8th graders look downright cute when they are focused on their work!

And any day that I wake up before my alarm and lie there for 10, 20, 30 minutes...or any day that I feel extra tired even though I didn't wake up before my alarm...or any day that ends in "day," (okay, just kidding) I treat myself to Starbucks.  Just a little perk to get me going in the morning, no matter how much I'd rather be at home or how messy my desk has become after just one week of school.

But, even if you love your job, there is nothing better than the weekend, and this weekend was no exception.  We spent some time with Jeremy's family up in North Manchester, IN...not just to visit them, but also to attend two of the Fun Fest activities: the parade and the fish fry.  Daniel, Stacey and Claire were also up in Manchester for Fun Fest, as well as Daniel's sister and her family, so we all sat together at the parade and let the little ones get acquainted.

It was Ava's first parade and despite the hot, muggy air, she seemed to enjoy watching the floats go by.

Xander and Ava were NOT fans of all the fire truck sirens... 

Most of the people in the parade threw candy to the crowds, but one nice group provided the sweating spectators with popsicles!  Ava usually isn't one to enjoy eating something that cold, but she sucked up her cherry popsicle like it was going out of style.

Besides the parade and fish fry, we relaxed with family and enjoyed time together.  We turned on the bubble machine and watched as Ava changed from unsure, to quietly watching, to raising her arms and trying to catch the floating orbs.

We ate too much food, talked and laughed loudly, and sucked the life out of the weekend.  It ended before I was ready, but Ava reminded me that it's always back to work as usual...

I sure hope the days of the week fly by the next two years, but I will be sure to cherish every single weekend in the meantime. 

The "Last" Weekend

I knew it would come...the final weekend before going back to school.  There is still a small part of my brain that is in denial, the part that has allowed me to push aside the copies I should've already made and the posters I should have laminated.  But all those familiar feelings have sat on my shoulders this weekend, weighing me down.  The "I don't want to go back" feelings.  The realization that life is about to get very busy, and I don't think I'm ready for it.  The fact that I have to get up at 5:30am every day now and rush out the door to drop Ava off at daycare and make it to school by 7:00.  Ugh.

I have tried to cherish this "last" weekend though.  I began Friday with one last Panera bagel and coffee for breakfast, a lunch date with Jeremy and my mom at PF Changs, and a mani/pedi during the afternoon.

Friday evening was spent with friends, sitting outside on their deck eating hamburgers fresh from the grill, sipping limeade beers, and gobbing up pound cake topped with ripe strawberries and cold vanilla ice cream.

We chatted, lit the tiki torches to add to the festive mood, and capped off the evening by lighting a sky lantern, then watching as it grew smaller and smaller and finally disappeared from sight.

Saturday evening passed in much the same way, enjoying time with friends.  Ava got to hang out with Ella and Kate while the grown-ups assembled dinner, poured wine, and sat out on the deck in the balmy air. 

The girls especially enjoyed their cupcakes for dessert - Ava perhaps a little more than Ella, seeing as how she gobbled it up in about five minutes and had a face full of icing.

After an evening of playing outside and eating sticky desserts, it was bath time, and the two little friends splashed in the soapy water while their daddies gently washed and rinsed the dirt away.

The rest of the weekend passed quickly, and I soaked up every bit of time I could with my little girl.  I watched her carry around a baggie of Cheerios and two sippy cups at once; helped her into the deck chairs so she could sit like Mama and Dada; cherished the nighttime routine of teeth brushing and putting on pajamas and reading stories; let her run naked around the house - which led to two peeing-on-the-carpet incidents...

And all the while, those nagging back-to-school feelings prevailed.  I couldn't shake them; I've never been able to and they return each year as the first day draws closer and closer.  You would think that after eight years of teaching, I would be used to this, but I'm not.  It's hard to go back each and every year.  I love my summers - the freedom, the extra sleep, the lack of stress - but they always come to an end, and this school year, I will try...oh, I will try so hard, to look on the bright side.

In the Midst of Back-to-School...

Today was the one-week mark of the back to school countdown.  I started the day early, as I am planning to do all week, in order to get my body used to waking up and getting out of bed at the ungodly hour of 5:30am.  Not that I got up at 5:30am today...you know, I have to adjust slowly to the new routine!  6:35am was good enough.  I took Ava to daycare, had my last Monday morning bagel and coffee at Panera, and completed the grocery shopping by 9:30am.  I never thought I would say that I'm going to miss these early morning grocery trips.  It really is the best time to go - the shelves are being stocked, it's quiet and smells of freshly baked bread, and there are no lines to check out.  But I digress.

After putting the groceries away at home, I started a roast in the crockpot, cleaned up the kitchen, got on the computer, checked my email about five times within a fifteen minute time period, and finally decided I couldn't put it off any longer...it was time to go to school and start getting my classroom ready.

Of course it was one of those situations where it's really not so bad once you get into it.  I unpacked boxes of new workbooks and stacked them on the shelf, opened fresh packs of crayons and markers, organized my desks, dusted every last surface, and hung up a poster that had fallen down over the summer.  I love the way everything is so fresh and shiny at the beginning of the school year.

This is the cleanest my desk will be all year!

It was a welcome site to enter my classroom and feast my eyes upon the bulletin board I started during my first year of teaching.  It is filled with cards from parents and students, drawings and letters, pictures of former 8th graders and other random memorabilia.  The board has gotten full, but how could I ever take anything down?  It's a daily reminder that there are many bright sides to teaching.

And in the meantime, in this last week before I become a full-time working mommy again, I am soaking up every last bit of summer: eating huge bowls of freshly cut fruit, making lunch dates and pool dates and appointments for mani/pedis, sipping glasses of wine out on the deck in the evening, and staying up later than I should to watch trashy reality TV and read Us Weekly in a tub full of bubbles. 

But most of all, I'm enjoying Ava just a little bit more this week.  Her giggles and silly moods.  Her constant chatter as she runs all over the house, darting from one toy to the next.  The way she waves bye-bye, gives kisses and hugs, and says her daddy's name over and over: "Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada..."  How she wants to eat Cheerios ALL.THE.TIME and knows what shelf they are on in the pantry.  Her love of books and being outside no matter how hot it is.  Oh, how I love this little girl!