I have been trying for days now to write this post. I've typed, deleted...repeat. I'm not sure why I'm struggling so much. Part of it is my need to justify why it's been so long since I have blogged. I completely missed three major holidays and feel a twinge of guilt over not "recording" those memories in a place where I'll have them forever. I have excuses out the wazoo: I was super busy with my photography business, I didn't MAKE the time, the thought of editing personal photos while I was already editing so many clients' photos seemed overwhelming, I'm pregnant (best excuse for anything!), it's not how I wanted to spend my free time...etc.
The truth is that if I had truly wanted to write down those memories of Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas...I would have found the time. Clearly, I didn't. And I'm not lying when I say that I was overwhelmed with a lot of other things on my plate. Blogging fell by the wayside.
But I'm back!
I'm 34 weeks pregnant and on "bed rest." It's not total bed rest, more like "put your feet up as much as possible; only get up to shower, use the bathroom, and fix yourself meals. Only leave the house if you feel you're going to explode and your mental health is suffering...or for doctor's visits." I thankfully am not confined to the bed for the majority of the day - my only "bed" visits are for naps. :)
Why bed rest? I started having contractions almost four weeks ago. At first it only happened here and there. I'd have maybe two occasions during the week where I could time them, always at night. Then they started happening randomly during the day as well. My doctor took me off work right before we were due to go back after winter break, but I was just told to "take it easy." I thought...this is going to be great! I can tackle my to-do list, make yummy dinners, and just spend the next few weeks RELAXING before the baby comes.
Cue Sunday morning, 2am. I'm awakened by severe cramping so bad that I curl up in the fetal position and clutch the sheets. I felt almost nauseous because of the pain. It didn't subside after about a half hour, so I finally woke Jeremy up and we decided to go to the hospital. I'd actually made a tiny bit of progress since my OB appointment just five days ago; at that time, I was still closed up, but now they were telling me I was 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. I was given a shot of Terbutaline to stop the contractions. It slowed them down significantly and after two hours of monitoring, I was sent home. I saw my OB the next day and got my official orders for "bed rest."
So, here I am, in the midst of all kinds of paperwork for maternity leave, benefits, short-term disability, FMLA, insurance, worries worries worries. I know we'll make it work financially. We have to! We've already started cutting back on a few luxury items (bye-bye, once-a-month cleaning lady...sniff...I will MISS YOU). And I know I can start back up with photography stuff as soon as I feel up to it after giving birth, which will provide a little extra here and there. I'm actually VERY anxious to schedule photo shoots and I HATE that I can't do any sessions right now!
Despite all of this, there are some bright sides to being on bed rest:
*I have a REASON to be lazy. And I don't have to feel guilty about it!
*It's a great time to catch up on my DVR shows or watch movies or read magazines or books...
*Can't leave the house? No need for make-up, a bra, styling my hair, nice clothes...hello sweatpants, t-shirts, and ponytails! Ultimate comfort every day.
*I don't have to go to work. No lesson planning, no grading, no discipline issues to deal with from students, no meetings, no 5:30am wake-ups, no exposure to illnesses...um, these are probably the BEST things about bed rest. :)
*Awesome friends who offer to help, who bring dinners over, who stop by to chat and hang out so that I can get some social interaction...I've been thinking lately you quickly find out who your "true" friends are in a time of "need." And it makes me think maybe I haven't always been the greatest friend when others have needed it. Note to self: wear someone else's shoes, so to speak, and figure out how to make friends' lives better.
*A husband who has stepped up to the plate, dropping off and picking up Ava from day care, coming home after a long day of work and making dinner, doing the dishes, giving Ava a bath, running errands for me, cleaning up the house, etc. In sickness and in health, right? I married a good one! :)
And finally, since I am being forced to take it easy and rest, I have more time to focus on Ava. More time for tea parties, coloring, reading books, being silly together...and more time to take pictures of her.