Friendships

As yet another of my spontaneous "Let's Do Dinner!" emails was shot down with complaints of too much work to do or needing to run errands or what-have-yous...Kelle Hampton yet again wrote exactly how I feel, in a much more coherent and beautiful way.

Friendships are easy to maintain when you are still in school because you see each other every day.  In college, if I needed company or someone to vent to or a shopping trip buddy, all I had to do was walk down the hall and I'd inevitably find one, if not more, willing participants.  Now that we are all married or have moved away or have kids, it is simply MUCH harder to maintain the closeness that was felt when a friend was just a few bedroom doors away.  It makes me sad because it does not have to be this way...yet it is.  And why?  Why do we drop everything for our spouses, kids, families...but not our friends?  How can we expect to nurture a friendship when it's put toward the bottom of the to-do list?

I'm sure I haven't been there enough for some of my friends.  I, too, am guilty of putting other things first on my list.  And maybe it's just the pregnancy hormones speaking, but it really does get to me when friend dates and girls-only nights are so few and far between.  It makes it even worse that Jeremy does not seem to have this problem with his friends.  They exchange a few texts and meet up for racquetball four times in one month.  They have Monday night Dexter-watching dates.  They plan outings just a few days in advance and it never seems to fall through.  Why is it not like this between my friends?!  How is it possible for men to maintain friendships better than women?!

Tonight is not the first time I have felt this way.  It's been eating at me slowly but steadily over the course of the past year or so.  Our entire group of friends gets together now and then, but what I crave is girlfriend time.  Leisurely, laughter-filled dinners, spontaneous coffee dates, shopping trips, weekend get-aways.  We've had them before, so why can't we bring them back?  Make plans for these things more often?  I've tried, I really have.  But being the "planner" 90% of the time gets old - especially when the plans fall through or never get off the ground to begin with.  I just don't know how to change this.  Seeing my friends only about once a month is just NOT enough for me.


If you and your core group of girlfriends maintain a steady flow of get-togethers, please share!  HOW do you do it?  Or, if you feel that you're in the same boat as I am, share that too...and maybe next time, you and I will grab a coffee together instead of feeling sorry for ourselves.  :)


/end of pregnancy-hormone fueled blog post