Get Real!

I'll admit it.  I had high expectations about how I would raise my child when I was pregnant.  "I'll never let my baby chew on dirty toys/menus/books/whathaveyou."  "My child will not eat chips or French fries or cookies."  "I won't allow my daughter to be passed around at family functions - what if someone is SICK?!!!"

Once Ava was born, I worried...a lot.  Was I doing the right thing?  Should I let her cry it out or should I go in and comfort her?  Did she eat enough?  Is she getting sick?  Whose advice should I take?  Taking care of a baby is stressful enough, but when we're bombarded with information from friends, relatives, websites, message boards, magazine and books, it makes it even more stressful - not helpful!  There are "better" ways of doing certain things - it's "better" if your child never eats French fries and it's "better" if you read to them every single night, but sometimes?  You're trying to cook dinner, your baby is wailing at your feet and the phone keeps ringing.  Buying yourself 10 minutes of peace by letting your child watch cartoons or make a mess with finger paints or eat a cookie isn't the end of the world. 

There is so much pressure to be the best mom ever.  But nobody can fulfill that role 24/7...it's not realistic.  There are moms out there who come close; moms who breastfeed past a year, make all of their baby's food, buy only organic products, cloth diaper, etc.  And that's great for them, but it's not me. 

Now that Ava is almost two, I am a much more relaxed mom.  What used to bother me can now easily be swept under the rug.  Ava had hot dogs and mac 'n cheese for lunch two days in a row?  Big deal.  We sleep trained her and let her cry it out?  Now she sleeps through the night and doesn't wake up until after 8am on the weekends.  She stayed up an hour past her bedtime because we had friends over?  Oh well.  In the grand scheme of things...none of this is the end of the world.  I'm not sure why there's so much pressure to always do the right thing as a parent.  We're human.  We make mistakes.  We try our hardest and do what we think is best.  And what's best for one family may not be the best for another family.  And that's okay! 

I'm looking forward to adding to our family in the future.  I hope that the second time around with a newborn will be easier and that I won't worry so much about the little things.  I want to be able to make a decision and move on instead of beating myself up about it as I did with Ava.  I think the key is to trust your gut.  You  know what's right for your own child and YOU are the parent, which means you get to make the decisions...not some random author of a book or a stranger on a message board.

To all the moms out there, I applaud you.  We're all in this together, no matter what our decisions are: breastfeed or formula, organic or...non-organic, disposable or cloth diapers, make our own baby food or buy it, co-sleep or not.  Get real for YOURSELF!  You'll feel so much better once you do!