Balancing the Weekends

During the week, Jeremy and I make big plans for the weekend.  We email friends, plan game nights, hire a babysitter and go to dinner...our weekend nights are precious to us, a time to kick back and have fun after the work week.  The weekend days are another story.  We often come up with big to-do lists that we email back and forth during the week, tweaking and erasing and perfecting until we decide what we'll do to pass a Saturday afternoon.  Sometimes it means yard work.  Sometimes it means picking up around the house, doing laundry, or grocery shopping. 

This weekend it meant a trip to Garfield Park.  Because, as Jeremy likes to say, "I don't want to just sit around all day and do nothing."  The sun was peeking through the clouds at random intervals, warming the slightly chilly air, so we donned sweaters and jackets and headed out.

 
I had a selfish reason for agreeing to a park date: a new spot to take pictures.  I was hoping to get shots of Ava running through a field of dandelions or peeking out from behind a tree...but the pull of a jungle gym complete with stairs to walk up and slides to come down was too much for her.

At least I was able to catch her interaction with a squirrel.  Poor dude had no idea what was coming his way.

Thankfully, squirrels are faster than toddlers.

Going to the park on a Saturday morning may be part of a normal routine for some: these are the families who regularly go on picnics, who head to baseball practice and soccer games, who are always on the go.  We are not that family.  While it is nice to be outside enjoying the spring weather, to watch your kid run freely and go down the slide 20 times in a row, it is not something I am naturally drawn to.  I am more likely to be found in my pjs at 11am on a Saturday morning, debating with Jeremy which fast food place we should choose for lunch. 

Thankfully, I have a husband who sometimes pushes me to get out the door and play.  And by play, I mean taking Ava somewhere picture-worthy so I can capture the moment.  Hey, I can't let go of all my controlling tendencies.

And with the weather warming up, I actually do want to be outside.  Unfortunately, we've had a lot of cloudy and rainy days lately, so even though Saturday was spent outdoors...Sunday was back to normal, huddled inside in our pjs the entire day while the clouds opened up and drenched everything in sight.

I like the balance between the two.  Some days I agree with Jeremy: I don't want to just sit around and waste the day away.  The urge to be productive or to play outside with Ava pushes its way to the forefront of my mind and makes things happen.  Other times, I'm perfectly comfortable spending a day inside, lounging on the couch or the floor of the playroom while Ava entertains and chats and pulls me up with her little hands to have a tea party.  Or help her change her baby doll's diaper.  Or color.  Or attempt to eat an entire bag of carrots.  Whatever floats your boat.

Balance is good. 

Two Sides

I’ve been realizing lately that there are two sides to who I am as a mom. 

The Fun Mom

This side of me allows for creativity, exploring and the freedom of expression. Fun Mom means sidewalk chalk, bubbles, and spontaneous trips to the park. Fun Mom allows Ava to make messes, to stomp through mud puddles and leave trails of dried-up Play-Doh pieces all over the carpet. 

When Fun Mom is around, stuff rolls right off my back. Ava throws a tantrum? Easy. Distract her with a joke, act silly, scoop her up in a hug and give her cookies for a snack. She wants to take two full minutes just to climb up the stairs? I have all the patience in the world. Messes don’t bother me, dirty clothes don’t bother me…everything is great! My kid gets to be a kid and I get to soak up her enjoyment in the little things.

I wish this side of me could be around all the time. This is the type of mom I want to be at every moment…because this is the mom who teaches her child that the world offers so many opportunities to express oneself, to be creative and stand out. This is the mom who lets her child see that sometimes it’s okay to drop everything and do something fun with loved ones, who jumps at the chance to make memories that will last a lifetime. 

Although it would be nice for this side of me to be present at all times, it’s just not realistic. Life cannot always be a holiday, it is not always sunny outside and sometimes we wake up on the wrong side of the bed, which brings me to my other side, which I will oh-so-creatively name…

The Other Side

I refuse to give an official name for this side of me. I don’t want to call myself the Mean Mom or Bad Mood Mom or Impatient Mom. This is the mom who lets her child get under her skin, who cringes at messes and feels exasperated when her child wants wants wants and then throws a tantrum when told no. When I am experiencing this other side of myself, it’s very hard to let things roll off my back. I easily get annoyed at the smallest things Ava does and sometimes, though I hate to admit it, I snap at her…and then instantly feel remorse.

And wouldn’t you know, this other side of me tends to come out on the weekends! The one time when I shouldn’t be feeling tired and irritated! It definitely confirms for me that I am not made to be a stay at home mom. I enjoy my daughter more after a day of work; I appreciate her antics, don’t mind if she gets sidewalk chalk all over her outfit, and somehow, even after dealing with 8^th grade attitudes all day, my patience for Ava during the week far outshines how I usually feel on the weekends. 

It is probably different for other moms, but I do believe most of us have two sides when it comes to our beliefs, attitudes and feelings about parenting. We cannot always be in a good mood and let the small things roll right off our backs. Sometimes our children get on our nerves – and that’s okay because Lord knows we get on theirs! (or will when they are teenagers!) Besides, the rough times make us appreciate the good times.

I feel that as I document my life with Ava and our family, as I take 153 pictures just from a trip to the park, it helps me focus on making good memories. Fun Mom is more likely to make an appearance when the camera is up to her face. It helps me appreciate Ava’s outlook on life: that tea parties are important, scribbling with crayons on paper results in magnificent artwork, being outside is preferred over being inside, pretend food is tasty and time spent playing is better than time spent cleaning the house. I want Ava to look back at her childhood and remember that I played with her, that I took her on walks and trips to the park or pool, that we laughed together and enjoyed each other’s company.

I definitely want Fun Mom to stick around a lot more than The Other Side, even if it takes a conscious effort on my part to make it happen.

What about you? Do you think there are two sides to you, whether you are a parent or not? Leave a comment and tell me about it!