Celebrating Life

It has been rough around here lately.  We are grieving over the loss of Jeremy's grandpa, the man who raised him and is the only "dad" he's ever known.  His health had been slowly decreasing for a few years and the end wasn't entirely unexpected, but it still seemed to come so quickly.  It reminds me of my own dad's death.  He battled with cancer for two years until the disease completely took over his body.  I was only 12 at the time.

Expecting the death of a loved one doesn't make it any easier.  You have to watch them struggle through pain while still trying so hard to appear strong.  In a way, the end is a relief: they can finally be peaceful and not have to deal with medicine, doctors, procedures, side effects and a body that has betrayed them. 

Despite the grief, the sorrow, the tears that sometimes flow steadily at the slightest provocation, we remember the good times.  Death gives us a chance to honor and celebrate the lives of our loved ones and reflect upon the memories we have shared with them.

Ava will not remember these times with "Papa," but we have pictures and stories to share with her when she's older.  We will tell her that she liked Papa immediately; that when she was an infant, she completely relaxed in his arms and never cried if he was holding her.  We'll show her pictures of the two of them on his scooter, riding around the house.  She will know that he was a special person in her life and that he loved her so much.

Losing a loved one is a really hard thing to go through, but it gives us a chance to celebrate life.  It helps us appreciate those around us even more and to cherish the moments we have with them.  Ava reminds us of this every day as she lives for the present and enjoys simple things, like blowing bubbles, riding her tricycle, taking walks and just being outside in the fresh air with her mama and dada. 

We are working through our feelings and taking it day by day...and looking to Ava for a smile, a laugh, a simple gesture to help us cope.  She shows us how to celebrate life.

Time Out

Every once in a while, a change in routine is necessary. A “time out” from the regular, daily doldrums. Earlier this week, that opportunity presented itself when the sun splashed its rays over the cool concrete and the air warmed up to almost 60 degrees. Ava was itching to play outside after I picked her up from daycare, and I was itching to get some pictures of her playing with bubbles.

All did not go as planned because Ava couldn't figure out how to blow the bubbles, nor was she very happy about her dada doing it for her. 

So we settled onto the driveway, watching her swish the bubble wand back and forth, first in the bottle and then in the air. It produced the desired effect, and Ava squealed with delight as she figured out a way to make bubbles come out of the wand. 

The fresh, warm air draws people out of their homes as if we’ve all been invited to a neighborhood party. We simply cannot resist the sunshine, the shedding of winter coats in favor of light, spring jackets, bubbles and sidewalk chalk, and a chance to mingle with neighbors who have been hibernating since November. A new family moved in next door to us in December, and they have 3 year old twin girls, the perfect playmates for Ava! We were all outside at the same time that day, and as soon as Ava saw the twins, she announced, “I wanna see girls,” and moseyed on over there. 

More editing done to this photo because it was my 365 for the day.

Katie and Maddie were a bit shy at first, but soon warmed up and the three of them drew on the sidewalk with pastel chalk, took turns riding Big Wheels and dug through bins of old clothes and shoes, pulling out dancing shoes and tutus. 

I cannot wait for summer! I hope to grow close with these new neighbors. I can already see it: family trips to the neighborhood pool, casual cookouts in our backyards where the adults sip cool beverages and the girls chase lightning bugs, driveways filled with chalk drawings, and afternoons spent running through a cold sprinkler. And even though we stayed out that day until it was too late to make a good dinner, it was worth it. Ava scarfed down her nuked hot dog, mandarin oranges, crackers, cheese and yogurt while Jeremy and I settled for TV dinners. I gladly sacrificed a homemade meal for an evening spent playing outside with potential new friends!

Besides this break from routine on an otherwise ordinary Wednesday, another “time out,” a much longer one, is taking place in my life. I currently have a student teacher in my classroom, giving me a welcomed reprieve from teaching, and time to plan for next year. I spend my days mentoring, planning, making copies, running errands and sitting in front of the computer while Miss L takes over my classes. I know the next 7 weeks are going to fly by while she’s here!

Time out doesn’t have to be a bad thing. When a child receives a time out, it gives them a chance to learn from their mistakes, to correct their behaviors and know that their parents care enough to discipline them. I’m proposing a new connotation for this phrase! 

A time out is a good thing, especially when it means playing outside in warmer weather, trips to the park and an excuse to pull out brightly colored dresses and leggings.

I'm hoping for many more excuses to get out of the daily grind and do something extra special at least once a week...especially now that we've had some hints of spring weather.  I hope Ava is ready!

Haircuts, Balloons & Other Ramblings

Before Ava's big girl 2-year-old birthday party, she needed a haircut.  Girlfriend's hair was gettin' straggly.  Enter Exhibit A:

It was her first-ever haircut and our first-ever hassle with those commercial "we cater to kids" hair salons *cough* Cookie Cutters *cough*...we made an appointment on a Sunday afternoon, only to drive the 20 minutes there and be told they had been swamped with walk-ins and it would be at least a 40 minute wait.  Um, excuse me.  WHAT?!!  We made an appointment to specifically avoid this scenario!  Thankfully, due to us making a stink and the receptionist not getting a coupon to print...we were handed a "free haircut" card and made an appointment for another day.  

I took Ava back a little less than a week later and we finally got those straggly strands trimmed.  She was such a good girl the entire time, just calmly watching the cartoons in front of her and letting the stylist tug and comb and cut.

While I'm glad we took her to this place for her first haircut, we will not be going back.  My stylist will do her hair for a lot less money, and I like my stylist!  No random stylist in a t-shirt, 10 minutes after our appointment time, thankyouverymuch!

I did not do the whole sentimental "keep the clipping of hair" bit.  Her hair was trimmed; it's not like I had a cute little curl complete with a tiny pink ribbon on top to commemorate it.  Nor did I want to pay the extra money for said hair clipping, plus a crappy photo and paper certificate.  I took my own photos and will place them in her baby book.  That's enough for me!

The reward at the end, for Ava of course, was a balloon.  A large, pink, air-filled orb that followed her around for the next two hours as she romped around with it outside.  Thank goodness it was a nice day!  We played in the yard and took multiple walks down the sidewalk, all with the balloon right next to her.

It's a week later and guess where the balloon is?  Still in our possession.  It's lost its mojo and is sadly lying on the ground in Ava's playroom...but she doesn't seem to mind.  A balloon is still a magical thing, whether it floats in the air or not!

I still am in awe of my baby girl who has grown up so quickly, who says full sentences now and can express her needs and wants.  It is exciting and sad all at the same time...and it has definitely given me an extra dose of baby fever.  I am ready for another little one around here.  I'm glad we have waited as long as we did; I know a lot of parents try to have their kids within two years of each other but for us, that would've been too soon.  Now, I am ready.  I'm ready to be pregnant again, to feel those tiny kicks, to document my growing belly every few weeks, to anticipate a new life.  I am hoping we will be blessed with a tiny miracle before the end of the summer...and if we're lucky...maybe even before the end of spring! 

Fingers crossed and many prayers said as we once again embark upon this journey.  With a face like this, how could you not want to go through it all again?